We broke up and he is dating
But "if you re-experience the same disappointment and hurt, it's a sign this person is not an ideal partner."Although Gabrielle's boomerang relationship had its downsides, she doesn't regret it, because "it made me realize that I didn't want the in-between relationship anymore," she says."I wanted the great sex and also someone who loved and supported me." When she found both with a great new guy (who's now her boyfriend), it was a wake-up call. Not all breakups and make-ups end in disaster — sometimes it's just a matter of both members of the couple getting on the same page at the same time.
Later, when he mixed the lady rats with both the familiar-scented males they'd already made sweet rodent love with and new unscented rats, 80 to 100 percent (in different trials) chose their familiar partners over the new dudes.After years of on and off with Luke, Blakeley grew emotionally exhausted of the cycle.But when she recently resolved to end things for good, "it was one of the most difficult things I've ever done," she says."I am in no way the Virgin Mary, but I've just always felt like given the choice, I should try to stay in the same pool rather than sleep with a complete stranger." Recent research from Oakland University shows that casual sex isn't so casual after all.Among people having casual sex, only 13 percent of men and 10 percent of women had it with someone they'd just met, compared with 65 percent who got it on with an ex.
Chronically dating your ex has never been more common, she says — mainly because people are waiting longer to get married, "so we have more time to be in relationships in which we might break up and get back together." Plus, "we have more ambiguity in our relationships today." In the past, you were either dating or broken up.